Michael Kesterton, from Wednesday's Globe and Mail
Hope they can’t sue
“Switzerland is going to new extremes in the battle to improve life for its animals,” The Sunday Times of London reports. “The land of Heidi and cuckoo clocks will hold a referendum in March on whether domesticated creatures should have the right to be represented by lawyers in court. The Alpine state is rapidly emerging as European champion of animal rights. It recently changed its constitution to protect the ‘dignity’ of plant life and made a law last year establishing rights for creatures such as canaries and goldfish.” In 2007, lawyer Antoine Goetschel was appointed “animal advocate” by the canton of Zurich. It became his job to enforce legislation enacted in 2008 under which goldfish, canaries and guinea pigs are considered “social animals,” which must never be kept alone. … [He] receives regular tip-offs about misbehaving pet owners. They are given two weeks to get their guinea pig or goldfish a mate. Failure to do so can lead to a court summons.
Can't to see what will happen when the guinea pigs want to erect minarets. Cuz you know they will...
ReplyDeleteI'm more worried about this class action lawsuit Banana's been working on...
ReplyDeleteSadly, I think mama Doukas would actually join Mr. Goetschel's fight. Growing up, we had to have 2 gerbils so one wouldn't get lonely. Hilariously that ended up leading to two "male" gerbils having hundreds of babies. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteIt did say that people had to get their guinea pig a "mate," not just a "friend," didn't it?
ReplyDeleteMaybe Mr. Goetschel is making sure that he will have lots of guinea pigs to protect for years to come.
I like how they call it "the land of Heidi and Cuckoo clocks" - now that is hard-hitting journalism.
ReplyDeleteFrom that bastion of knowledge, Wikipedia:
ReplyDeleteHeidiland, named after the Heidi books, is an important tourist area in Switzerland, popular especially with the Japanese.[3] Maienfeld is the center of what is called Heidiland; one of the villages, formerly called Oberrofels,[4] is actually renamed "Heididorf."[5] Heidiland is located in an area called Bündner Herrschaft; it is criticized as being a "laughable, infantile cliche"[3] and called "sickening"[5] and "execrable."[4]
I have just come back from Costa Rica via Key West (Fla)Georgia ,Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio,('The Buck-eye State) Then N.Y .
ReplyDeleteEach State had it's own peculiarities and funny little laws we found out about in one way or another. However I am sure that none of them would ever entertain the idea of legal counsel for Goldfish, rodents etc. I guess the traditional neutrality of the Swiss have caused thier grey matter to flatline. I would love to see the first test trial with a full compliment of Hamsters, Mice , Cats and Goldfish (With special watery seating provided). alternateley cheering on the defense and speculating on how to eat one another at the same time. You guys are lucky, that kind of National news is great entertainment to say the least.
Tamarindo Ray
HEY!!!WAIT A MINUTE!!1?/11
ReplyDeleteI just realized that these are the same CRAZY BASTARDS that are guarding the Pope.
Somebody warn the Holy Father.!1
I love how Ray backhandedly called the Swiss stupid as a result of their "neutrality". I remember how I used to think that the Swiss were smart in not wanted to get up in other people's shit. Sensible and tolerant, right? Until I figured out that they actually just don't give a fuck. Is that racist of me? Who's more racist: me or the Swiss? Damn, this way madness lies.
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ReplyDelete[Oops. Delete-happy again!]
ReplyDeleteI just finished editing a paper about teaching "contested history" (i.e. the Holocaust) in Switzerland, and it was bananas!
Did you know that Switzerland was the only nation in the world to celebrate the 50th anniversary of the BEGINNING of WWII? Ostensibly to honour its military and government for preventing Nazi invasion. That was just the tip of the collaborationist iceberg.
But Switzerland is basically paradise -- "neutrality" may not be very humanitarian, but it's certainly very secure.
If you're feeling racist, hop on over. I think they issue a C permit based on your precise level of hatred for others.