Lest you think it's all fourteenth-century bridges and exploding snowmen...

...rest assured that there is plenty of shit to deal with here, and that a lot of our life really, really sucks right now. Also, by "our" I generally mean "my." (It's Swiss Miss here, BTW.)

Fun with finances
Remember the Steinhausen Incident? Remember how we refused to live there? Remember, too, how this refusal led to a few extra nights in our Oerlikon hotel? Well, the expense for those extra nights was 1) approved by our relocation company, 2) denied by our relocation company, 3) re-approved by our relocation company, 4) partially denied, in the sense that it was delivered to us 1,000CHF short of the full amount. Um...what???

They actually brought in a new consultant for us, as our previous one was "sick" (read: incompetent, and/or hated us as much as we hated her), and he promised to make things right... I gave this fellow a (small, small) chance, but screw-ups 1, 2, 3, and 4, and the fact that we are still 1,000CHF poorer than we should be, have proven that my instincts were correct: everyone and everything associated with our relocation company sux. NOTE: If you are planning an international move, please contact us so we can tell who NOT to deal with.

Work sabotage???
I've been looking for work (more on my work permit later, it gets its own story), and I found a company that helps trailing spouses find employment in their new country. Sounds good, right? I call, and the woman on the phone tells me that usually the relocating company pays the expenses for the spouse and makes all the arrangements...what company does Swiss Mister work for?

When I tell her, she says, yes, THE ANONYMOUS COMPANY is a client of hers: she names off people in HR with whom she has long-standing relationships and says she can't understand why they didn't contact her / why this relocation service was not part of our package. I explain to her that, in lieu of organizing this service itself, THE ANONYMOUS COMPANY gave us money to do the arranging ourselves. However, I am shocked to discover that the amount of money (which is supposed to cover both language lessons and employment services) is nowhere near enough. In fact, I would need 1.7-2.0 times the amount just to cover the employment services part, forget about language school.

This language+work help for me was basically Swiss Mister's ONLY point of negotiation, and he and his boss spent three days figuring it out. Either...

1) the Boss is lazy and didn't bother to find out about what was already an established arrangement between THE ANONYMOUS COMPANY and this employment agency.

1a) the Boss did find out and decided to game Swiss Mister, negotiating in bad faith by knowing full well he wasn't offering enough money for the services we were asking for.

2) the Boss did try to find out, but the Twerpy HR Guy fucked us over because:
----- he is lazy and stupid
----- he hates the relocation process almost as much as we do, and he has a vested interest in making sure the new system (that is, the system without him involved) works poorly.

3) some combination of the above.

Regardless, I am so angry -- even if we didn't qualify for employment services benefits, the least THEY could have done was offered us the contact information for this company so I wouldn't have to scrabble about in the dark...and in German.

Instead, all we have is more screw-ups and/or more disorganization and/or more sabotage. And I am still unemployed.

Work permit pickle
Allegedly, I have a work permit...I've just never seen it. Swiss Mister's arrived weeks ago. Mine didn't. Why? At first it was because they didn't realize my application was related to his, as we have different names and aren't married... (Seems suspicious, as we went in person together to file the application.) Now, there is a backlog, and they can't issue my permit for another few weeks. In the meantime, I have to apply for special permission to leave from and return to the county, otherwise they could deport me.

Which means it's unfortunate that we're travelling out of Switzerland this weekend AND next weekend. It's even more unfortunate that the special permission costs 95CHF. (On the fortunate side: I didn't get deported when we left previously to go here. We considered just chancing it again, but after talking with our immigration lawyer, that seems a wee bit risky.)

Irony of ironies: we are going away this weekend to relax from our stressful relocation.

Bllllllaaarrgh. For even more rabid Swiss-bashing, please go here.

Also, what is this? Yes, that does say "Darkie." (I double-checked at the store.) It also costs 69CHF. Just another day in Zurich...

It is time to get out of this country for a few days...