Oh Buh-nana, now don't you cry for me

Actually, I rather think the tears are the other way around: from what I hear from our lovely cat-sitter K., Banana is having a great time. In her emails to me, K. indulges my anthropomorphism of Mr. B. to an alarmingly nice degree, and the following tidbits have found their way into my inbox over the last few weeks:

"I have been initiated into the Head-Butt-Cuddling Society. I'm a happy member."

"I think Banana might have a girlfriend. He howls at her every night from my window." (Ed note: girlfriend or archenemy?)

Clearly, Mr. B. is totally a-OK. It is me who is distraught. It's been weeks since I've last seen the little dude, and whenever I'm a bit sad or lonely here, I think of how nice it would be to have a furball (other than Swiss Mister) to cuddle -- then I feel even worse. Swiss Mister got it right when he said we won't truly be settled until Mr. B. makes it to Zurich. Banana is T-minus one month-ish out, but already I am stresssssed about the voyage.

Why? Well, first, remember that Banana is no longer a tiny little kitten who can fit in a slipper. He is a grown cat that the vet described as "big boned" -- Mr. B. clocks in at a fairly hefty 5.97kg. This is a problem, considering regulations for the cheapo airlines prohibit pets larger than 6kg (including carrying case!) from flying in the cabin. I am really nervous about Mr. B. being turned away by a crusty gate agent (they have the final say) because he's half a kilo over, or something ridiculous. Besides starvation diets, the only other option is cargo shipping, which gives me the shivers for all sorts of reasons. AND, only certain airlines permit in-cabin animals, and even then they have quotas on these animals on a first-come-first-serve reservation basis.

Also, it's important to note that these particular airlines do not have direct flights from YYZ-->ZRH. This means more time in the box for Banana: approximately 13 hours, if all goes well from start to finish. If you are a cat, I imagine that 13 hours is more than enough time to have a freakout, make a scene, and/or shit yourself in a confined space. The only thing worse than transporting a cat on a plane is transporting a loud, shit-smelling cat. I will clearly be everyone's favourite passenger.

A few things have been suggested to me by Swiss Mister:

1) People fly with pets all the time. Our friend Cat (human) brought her cat (feline) back and forth from Lausanne four or five times, and Squeak never had a problem.

2) Banana will be drugged. Hopefully he will just snooze for most of the time. The drugs also have a rather convenient secondary side effect: constipation.

3) Banana is a cat. Maybe I am overreacting?

Even so, I am extremely worried about the trip, so much so that I cried when Swiss Mister suggest I be the one to book the flight: Stress + Banana + Flight Logistics = Tears, obviously. I just want B to be okay! It's not like I can rationalize his discomfort to him, or tell him not to run away (albeit slowly and drunkenly) when he (inevitably) escapes from my arms as we go through security.

Hmmm...this is mildly comforting: "Though cats have a memory that can be up to 200 times more retentive than a dog's, they will only remember what they consider to be useful, and therefore their memory can be quite selective." Maybe selection/repression will prevent Banana from becoming emotionally scarred/scared for life?

What about me, though? I have an excellent memory!

If anyone has any pet travel trips, please send them on.